Sheila’s Tip O’ The Month To Ya!

January 8, 2010

Dear Delores

January 6, 2010

Dear Delores,

Another year behind me, I was sad to see her go. I’m not good with goodbyes, never have been. I cried a river and told 2009, “better luck next year!” and cried some more.
Here are my New Year resolutions! Small list, but I like to set high goals, and slam dunk em.
I didn’t go for a gym membership this year. Last year I tried, but I fell in love with my personal trainer and he had to get a (small) restraining order when I started showing up at his house to jog at 4AM and read him poetry.

Sheila’s New Years Resolutions-
4 fewer bags of Skittles (per week)
Write the Indigo Girls a letter – everyday
Build a fort
Have joke published by Laffy Taffy
Petition Congress to admit women can make lakes too! Victory will be ours!

Sheila’s Tip of the Month To Ya (December)

December 1, 2009

Sheila’s Tip of the Month To Ya (November)

November 3, 2009

Dear Delores

November 2, 2009

Dear Delores,

I just started the Sheila’s Make a Wish Turkey! Foundation!!!
I went to a turkey farm, and just hung out with the turkeys late last night. I just want to be there for them, and spend some quality time with them as they await extermination. I sang them songs from the old world, played games, and performed their last rites. I laid in the middle of the coop, and just poured corn all over me. As they pecked at me I was just laughing! I suppose crying some too. There was some blood. I gave them skittles, they LOVE skittles – who doesn’t!?!? Especially if you’re about to die!

Things I’m Thankful For-
Little Debbies
Friends that know my name
Corn dogs
Corn husks
Kittens having babies
Babies having kittens
Totem poles

Sheila’s Tip of the Month to Ya (October)

October 1, 2009

Dear Delores

September 30, 2009

Dear Delores,
I saw a stork at the zoo today and yelled “Baby on board!” it was hilarious! I also protested for the removal of all fences, and sang “Born Free!”
FYI – Storks do not eat pickles as much as you would think.

Dear Delores

September 8, 2009

Dear Delores,
Last night I went to a bonfire party on the beach! I overheard some kids talking about it at the supermarket, loaded up on Pringles, and made my way to the beach! Everybody had to leave early, but I kept the party going around the fire. I was dancing, and yelling, and then I wouldn’t let myself talk unless I was holding the conch – It was awesome!

Sheila’s Tip of the Month to Ya (September)

September 3, 2009

Dear Delores

August 24, 2009

Dear Delores,
This heat wave is really something! Yesterday, I decided to beat the heat with an ice cream cone!! Actually, I’m pretty sure the heat beat the ice cream. It beat it all over my hands, face, and neck brace. It’s pretty awesome cause now I can suck ice cream out of the brace! I’d say the only downside are the ants… they have made a nest, and don’t show signs of leaving anytime soon. Sucks.